August 28, 2006
been pretty hectic here at the Saga Shirts office. A couple
of weeks ago, a procession of Santeria practitioners zeroed
in on us, just as a procession of Reformed Druids did the
same thing. Apparently each group had been trying to pinpoint
some metaphysical black hole of unholy proportions, and
they all ended up here, more or less where our stack of
Things might have
gotten ugly. Well. Uglier. But due to some longstanding
theological warfare between the Druids and the Santerians,
we were saved by a street brawl that landed them all in
jail. What a relief!
The bad news is, since that news hit the paper a
bunch of crystal-waving Rosicrucians have been hanging around.
don’t quarrel with these folks’ right to assemble
and try to exorcize us. Honestly, if any of them could actually
stop these shirts from using their potent
psychic control over us and the neighborhood squirrels,
well, more power to ‘em.
Not sure if we mentioned the squirrels. It’s not pretty.
But anyway, the shirts
just seem to get stirred up when one of these occult vigilante
groups starts trying to return them to the lower depths.
It makes life around the office just a little more interesting
wouldn’t believe what happened to the paperclips,
for example. Eyes? On office supplies? We’ve
gotten used to a lot of weird goings on, but that was a
showstopper, believe me.
apart from the mobs we’ve just been trying to keep
on keeping on. Many of you have taken some of the shirts
off our hands and we’re grateful for that. But of
course, the faster you buy them, the faster they force us
to print more. It’s one of those vicious cycle things.
So please, don’t stop.
The Hyde and Teller
Carnivale just hit town. We’re going to try to unload
some shirts on them – what could be better? They’ll
take the whole stack out of the county within a week, and
what sort of harm could a few dozen cursed t-shirts do in
the hands of some fraud who calls himself “Lodz the
It’s a plan.
to all of you who've been buying our shirts. You know by
now how vital it is to us that we keep them from gathering
together in numbers. Unfortunately it can only be a matter
of days before the shirts force us to print more.
So please, keep buying
them. Some of us have families.
here - and we're not going to point fingers or name names
because it was obviously meant to help - well, someone got
it into their head to leave a bunch of our shirts out behind
a thrift store last week. It really did seem like a good
idea at the time.
the next morning... every one of those shirts had found
its way back. They were piled up all over our desks. They
looked... smug. And all the pets in the neighborhood are
you can see our situation. We can't solve our little interdimensional
troubles by giving the things away - and as you know, the
higher they pile up, the closer we seem to be to an apocalyptic
A shirt a day: that's
all we ask!
celebrate Bastille Day by opening our doors, hoping that
the mob outside isn't the French Revolution. We thought
we saw torches.
the guillotines at the curb and don't forget to feed the
meters. You're welcome to step in and have a look around
at what we've been putting together - we're very pleased
with it and we hope you will be, too.